My Mother, though small in stature, is never short of opinions.

MY LIFE EVENTS (MOTHER’S INTERPRETATION)

Out-of-state college (Dead in a ditch.)

Nose ring (Unemployed for life.)

Failure to receive MRS. degree (No grandkids.)

Production intern in New York (Rabies by subway rat. Also dead.)

Creative Circus workload (No grandkids. Ever.)

Dog ownership (Close enough to a grandkid.)