My Mother, though small in stature, is never short of opinions.

MY LIFE EVENTS (MOTHER’S INTERPRETATION)

Out-of-state college (Dead in a ditch.)

Nose ring (Unemployed for life.)

Failure to receive MRS. degree (No grandkids.)

Production travel (Rabies by subway rat. Also dead.)

Advertising workload (No grandkids. Ever. Might as well be dead.)

Dog adoption (Close enough to a grandkid. Slightly less dead.)